Happiness is a choice. It is a decision we make everyday. Joy comes from within, having an attitude of gratitude…an endless appreciation for the good and the lessons learned from the bad. Count your blessings & you will never run out of reasons to be happy 🙂

NOT EVERYONE CAN BE HAPPY
By Olisya Novikova – 32 Impt. Life Lessons

Can everyone be happy. Yes, sure. But only in theory. In practice, only those who have disciplined their minds can be consistently happy, calm, balanced, and benevolent. Only those whose minds are trained and capable of not worrying about everything around them. Only those who manage to retain a sense of joy not only in agreeable circumstances but also in unpleasant situations. Otherwise, there is an endless stream of events which will evoke only pain, irritation and anxiety. And some situations are more serious than others. A person who reacts emotionally to every little incident can never be happy inside.

Today, a very anxious person expressed her concern about her house and all the stuff in it. The fear of being ransacked and all her prized possession getting stolen. And how she went all the way of taking pictures of everything inside her house from home decors to chinaware, utensils and even her bed sheets and linens before she left to make sure nothing is missing by the time she returns home. Imagine how tedious the task must be for her and how stressful it is for that person to live with such fears and worries over her material possessions.

This got me thinking and it brought to memory the many people I have encountered who buy stuff only to store them and never use them. Others I have seen put up stuff on glass showcases. Others kept stuff in storage boxes, tucked away for dust to accumulate. I have heard them say, “We’re saving them for special occasions.” Some have bought toys, put them up on display and never allow their children to play with them because “these are collector’s items,” or “they are very expensive, the kids might break them.” So let the children wait until they are old enough to take care of the toys but also old enough to not anymore have the interest to play with them.

How absurd and how totally ironic. We enjoy the feeling of having bought something but we deprive ourselves and our loved ones the joy of actually using them because of this “fantasy” of saving it for a tomorrow that is never promised. We also enjoy the feeling of freedom in buying the things we desire but we caged ourselves to it because of the fear of losing it.

Today, I have also come across a quote that says, “The most important things are not things. “ And I personally find value in it. While I respect how others prefer to be more material, I have great admiration for those who are driven on the experiential side of life.

At some point, all of us can be both material and experiential. And when we have been to both ends, it’s easier to tell the difference which side is more fulfilling. At least for my part, I can say that being material can be gratifying because it gives you a sense of accomplishment. It fuels your drive to thrive and strive for greater heights. It also gives you confidence and it boosts your self-esteem. But it also puts you in a place of “more” and “not enough.”

On the other hand, once you have reached the point of seeing the value beyond the material possessions, it puts you in a place of contentment. The sense of gratitude sinks in and you find the value in moments, in people and in relationships. You value time and how it should be spent. And this puts you in a place of serenity. You simply go with the flow. You live and enjoy each moment. You learn to let go of things that are beyond your control. You become more accepting and forgiving. You add more to your everyday life. This is a place where you find how less becomes more. The lesser you worry about everything, the more you actually live.

Ever wondered how, from an episode of utter mess, things amazingly come together in such a harmonious fashion that all you can say is, “Wow!”

Imagine this. You have set your plans, mapped out everything, worked your butt out to make sure things go as planned. And then wham! it didn’t. You see everything tumble down, abruptly and then slowly, along with your spirit that slowly loses its zest for life. You give in. You give up. You settle. You tell yourself, this is probably what I’m destined to do, where I’m destined to be. But deep inside, you can feel that fire, a calling or longing and even belief that tugs you every now and then, urging you that you can do so much more.

That tiny spark, that belief, no matter how small it had become, if you continue to breathe life into it, it can attract the most amazing thing that can give you your next breakthrough. Then imagine this. You wake up one morning, you got a phone call, received a message or an unexpected visitor came and wham! again. This time you are given another roadmap to another exciting adventure, the one you have always wished for but never thought would actually happen. Then everything changes. The zest for life springs back up and you find yourself ready to take on the world again.

This is when we see the ugly mess that preceded the breakthrough as a blessing in disguise. A kind of pruning that prepares us for something beautiful. And that is how life is. It is a cycle of good and bad, of highs and lows. It also comes with twists and turns, even detours that take us to different directions, including those that are under construction which delays the journey. And there are times we get stuck and think it’s the final stop. But then a sudden event takes place or a person we least expected comes along at the most unexpected time and it changes everything. We take on a different route and we journey on.

It is in these moments that we realize, all the things we have been through, the times we got stuck and felt broken, those were just part of what awaits us. Something far better than what we have planned and pushed ourselves to do or to be at. We wonder in amazement, “How did that happen?” or “Where did that come from?” We smile and see the chain of events as coincidence. Probably they are. But when God’s Hand is at work, coincidences truly become magical. So keep that faith burning. When at the moment, nothing seems to be happening, let us remind ourselves of the pruning stage where the most beautiful part is still being prepared for us. Trust the process. And when the time is right, the magical coincidences will lead the way.

Picking and choosing your battles : Lose to win

I believe we all have an instinctive defense mechanism which sets an alarm whenever we are threatened physically, mentally or emotionally. And this defense sometimes come in the form of anger being a quick initial reaction, even up to a point of violent outbursts in certain off-guard situations. However, as we grow into maturity of mind and heart and have allowed ourselves to grow spiritually as well, we come to learn to let go of certain things, including picking our fights and choosing our battles. There will come a time in our lives when we value our time, energy and relationships more than our pride, hunger to win & the external validation of being right. And in fact, this can be very liberating. We might choose to let go and lose certain fights throughout our lifetime but if such losses can be our trade-off in reaping the victory to live a more peaceful, fulfilling & happy life, then by all means, why not lose to win?

Today we hear and read a lot of stories of depression that lead people to hurt other people, or themselves, even to the extent of taking their own lives. There are high profiled ones that we see all over the news in both main stream and social media. And there are those, even as you are reading this, that are happening to someone, somewhere, and no one ever gets to know about it. But thanks to social media, even if there are incidents we don’t get to hear about, there is a raised awareness that something like this, is actually happening. That depression is real. And that it’s happening to someone and it could happen to anyone.

Depression, as defined by the American Psychiatric Association, is “a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease a person’s ability to function at work and at home. ” Symptoms, they say, include the following:

• Feeling sad or having a depressed mood
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
• Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting
• Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
• Loss of energy or increased fatigue
• Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., hand-wringing or pacing) or slowed movements and speech (actions observable by others)
• Feeling worthless or guilty
• Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions
• Thoughts of death or suicide

Without knowing its clear definition, one may not even be aware that he or she might already be going through a mild to severe symptoms of it. I could look back and recall that in the different phases of my life, during those times when I felt that life was not on my side and things are not turning out as expected, I too, had manifested some, if not all of these symptoms. And yes, including thoughts of death.

When you are in a situation that seemed hopeless, like a loved one whom you have devoted your life to has betrayed you, or you might be the favorite target of bullying in your school or workplace, or you have parents who don’t care, or the opposite perhaps that you feel they care too much you cannot live up to their expectations of you, or you might find yourself stuck in a big financial mess and you have no idea what you are going to do, or someone very close to you is sick and dying and you feel helpless that you cannot do anything for that person, or you are the one who is sick with an illness that does not guarantee any cure and if there is, the cost of it would already make you want to just give up and die, or you lost a loved one to death and the grief of such loss has created a void that you have to struggle to live by every single day, or you lost your job, or some business partner double-crossed you and run off with the money you have worked so hard to earn and then you are left with nothing but a tainted reputation with a family to feed and rising debts to pay. Different life stages, different situations, different degrees of depression. These are some situations that leave you paralyzed, with a feeling of isolation from the rest of the world because you feel that nobody would ever understand, that the world will never understand and the pain you are feeling, physically and emotionally becomes too unbearable. The thought of death could be a sweet escape. And then you snap out of it. At least for the lucky ones who do, because by talking to someone, or reading something out of some book, or perhaps an article that pops up in your feed or timeline, or by suddenly getting a change of scenery, or by conscious willpower of diverting such thoughts to something else, you get clarity that the worst situation you are in is not actually the dead end that you thought it was. The temporary snapping out of it does not solve the problems you have, but it does get you out of that desperate moment that could lead to something detrimental as untimely death. It gives you the interval, no matter how thin that line is, to gasp for air that could save you.

What I recall as my own saving grace was how I literally shake my head to shake off the negative thoughts that was dominating my mind. And I pray. I had broken down, crying like a baby in prayers so many times. I have cried in the shower with my tears flowing endlessly as the water dripping off my head. I self-talk, if there was nobody to talk to, I talk to myself and how it relieved the heaviness in my chest.

To surrender to weakness is not an act of weakness itself. It is a mere surrender to our vulnerability as emotional beings and acknowledge that strong as we might project ourselves to be most of the time, we all have a weak spot. No exemption. Even the toughest person has a weak spot. And in knowing and acknowledging our weakness, we gain our strength. Give yourself permission to be weak. And forgive yourself if at some point, you succumbed to your weakness. It is in those lowest points that we come face to face with our own fears, our own demons that try to pull us to that pit of no return. But we know that it’s not really where we want to go. We do not want to be a prisoner of the darkness that has no end. We have the ability to pull ourselves together, to give our weak selves the chance to get up, rise up and work up. To regain the strength that we lost from being temporarily defeated by the situations that caused our depression. It is temporary, yes it is. Because just as all things are fleeting, this one too, no matter how bad it looks at the moment, this too shall pass. I have read so many posts and articles today of reaching out. Yes, allow yourself to reach out to those who reach out to you. All the world may not understand, but there is someone, somewhere who understands. You can look outside, or you can look inside of you. In the depths of you, if you open your heart to receive the power that is in you, the power that heals, that understands, that tells you, all may not be well, but it will be. And yes, my dear friend, it will be because your life matters. You are here because you have a purpose. Just as every sunset gives hope to a new tomorrow, trust that all will be well in the many tomorrows that await the stronger, wiser, more accepting and more forgiving version of you.

 

We are often caught up in the busyness of life that we forget how it is to live.

To live is to see and appreciate the beauty of the world around you and the goodness of the people that surround you.

To live is to learn how to laugh, even at yourself.

To live is to contribute back to the world that has given you so much.

To live is to thank our Creator every single day for the gift of life.

To truly live, is to live a life of purpose, to stand up and be counted.  To leave a legacy of a better world and a better life than the one you found.

We only pass this way once. Do more than just exist. LIVE!

 

Ripple Effect. Everything we do can have an impact on the lives of others around us. It is amazing how one small deed can create a lasting effect on others. What true fulfillment it is that your random acts of kindness done with the purest of intentions have contributed to bringing change without you even knowing it. So if there is anything worth passing on, pass on goodness. For indeed, there is magic in a single drop.

“Decide to become a “No Matter What” person. Decide that you will make your dream become a reality…NO MATTER WHAT!

It does not matter if you run out of money, or if life catches you on the blind side. It does not matter if you experience disappointments, failures or setbacks. You have what it takes to bounce back. Your gifts, talents and abilities require that kind of resolve. The next moment can change your life…for good. Be open to that. Do not give up. Make it happen…NO MATTER WHAT!!”

Words have magic. Words have power. Unless expressed, words cannot serve its purpose. This page allows words to come to life. Though these are randoms thoughts that came out of experience, my own and those of others I had the privilege to meet and get to know, these words are coming straight from the heart which over the years have helped me understand both the simplicity & complexity of life. The intention is to extend the learnings and inspiration that these thoughts expressed through words have brought to my life. May these words touch your lives and they did mine.